Stop Shoulding All over Yourself

“I should drink more water.”

“I should go to the gym more. I know I should.”

“I should make time for breakfast.”

“I should spend more time with my friends.”

“I should do more networking. I should write a book. I should start a podcast.”

Should. Should. Should.

Is “should” a big part of your vocabulary?

If you’re saying “should” all the time, you’re probably not moving toward your best life.

When you say you “should” do something, you’re firmly reinforcing to yourself that you’re not doing it.

Every time you say you “should” go to the gym, you’re giving yourself a strong message:

“You’re still not going to the gym, you failure.”

Calling yourself names is the least effective approach to motivation ever known to humankind. When people attempt to motivate you by telling you that you suck, you come to resent them. When you attempt to motivate yourself by telling yourself that you suck, you come to resent yourself.

Resentment always leads to resistance, and resistance always keeps you stuck.

Do you feel stuck?

The words you use matter. The words you use shape your experience. As such, I invite you to play with some powerful shifts:

1. You could try going from “should” to “could”.
2. When that feels good, you could try going from “could” to “want to”.
3. When that feels good, you could try going from “want to” to “will”.

Are you sensing the transformation that’s possible for you?

I invite you to say these statements out loud:

1. “I could go to the gym more.”
2. “I want to go to the gym more.”
3. “I will go to the gym more.”

Implicit in these statements is something very different and very important: choice.

When you shift from “should” to “could”, you shift from a sense of obligation to a sense of opportunity.

Let’s make this very clear:

1. “Should” comes with a dreadful sense of obligation.
2. “Could” comes with an exciting sense of opportunity.

How good does opportunity feel?

Probably enough to get you to want to do it.

Probably enough to get you to do it.

Should → Could → Want To → Will

With your self-imposed resistance dissolved, your natural motivation will flourish.

Are you ready to start feeling great?

Are you ready to stop shoulding all over yourself?

About Jason Gootman
Jason Gootman is a Mayo Clinic Certified Wellness Coach and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach as well as a certified nutritionist and certified exercise physiologist. Jason helps people reverse and prevent type-2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and other ailments with evidence-based approaches to nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, holistic wellness, and, most importantly, lasting behavior improvement and positive habit formation. As part of this work, Jason often helps people lose weight and keep it off, in part by helping them overcome the common challenges of yo-yo dieting and emotional eating. Jason helps people go from knowing what to do and having good intentions to consistently taking great care of themselves in ways that help them add years to their lives and life to their years.