Making a Big Commitment to Yourself

I received several e-mails last week soliciting a 30-day diet. The diet was pitched as a way to “reset” after “the holidays” and was framed in the context of self-care. Self-care is a big part of my work, so I can sniff out the real stuff and the predatory mimicry right away. These smarmy solicitations reminded me just how damaging one-size-fits-all, quick-fix weight-loss schemes are.

Imagine a movie.

Trevor and Rebecca meet by chance on the New York subway and fall madly in love. Four months later, they find their relationship in peril when Trevor lands his dream job running a school—in Guatemala. In the final scene, he shows up on Rebecca’s doorstep in the rain and declares his love.

“I know this is going to be hard with me being away, but I love you. I love you so much. Everything feels so good with you.”

Rebecca softens. Her heart melts. She’s never been loved like this before.

“Our relationship is so valuable to me,” Trevor continues. “You’re so valuable to me.”

He looks Rebecca in the eyes, caresses her cheek, and tells her what’s in his heart:

“Here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna love you for the next 30 days. Thirty days is better than nothing, right? After that, I don’t know what I want to do. It could go a lot of ways. I guess we’ll see.”

Yikes, right?

Do you want to be loved like that?

Do you want to be loved for 30 days?

True love lasts. True love is a stabilizing force that enables you to be your best self. True love is truly invaluable. You need love like that.

You need self-love like that too.

If you’re ready to love yourself, I invite you to reflect on your level of commitment to yourself.

Are you ready to stop making 30-day commitments to yourself?

Are you ready to make a lifelong commitment to yourself?

Could you say something like this to yourself today?

“I love you, [your name]. I want you to thrive during your one precious life. I’m going to always take great care of you. No matter what. Because I love you so much.”

Some people will argue it’s important to start small. I agree that when making lifestyle improvements, taking small steps is a very smart approach. I’m not talking about taking big steps with regard to lasting behavior improvement and positive habit formation. I’m talking about making a big commitment to yourself. I’m all for taking small steps when adopting new self-care practices, but I’m not at all for making a small commitment to taking great care of yourself.

Every week, I witness the turning points my clients come to when self-care starts to get easy for them. It’s when they surrender to taking great care of themselves for life. When they realize self-care isn’t a 30-day program. When they realize it’s a lifestyle.

They come to know they’ll always be there for themselves. They stop settling. They only accept the very best for themselves.

How does that sound?

From that vantage point, you’ll consider all one-size-fits-all, quick-fix weight-loss schemes to be a complete waste of your time. They’re like shallow, immature relationships that always leave you hurting and wanting for more. “Will I ever truly be loved?”

Yes. The moment you decide to take great care of yourself forever. The moment you decide you’re done with casual self-care. The moment you decide to make a big commitment to yourself.

“When we fully go all in, not just with another person but with anything, there is freedom.”
—Stan Tatkin

Epilogue: Do “Resets” Make Sense?

Be very careful with the notion of doing a diet, cleanse, detox, or fast as a “reset”. Would you spend months at a time with someone abusing and manipulating you alternated with relationship resets? Is a fulfilling relationship one with periods of disrespect and betrayal alternated with periods of reset? Of course not! Then why have this kind of relationship with food? With your body? With yourself?

About Jason Gootman
Jason Gootman is a Mayo Clinic Certified Wellness Coach and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach as well as a certified nutritionist and certified exercise physiologist. Jason helps people reverse and prevent type-2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and other ailments with evidence-based approaches to nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, holistic wellness, and, most importantly, lasting behavior improvement and positive habit formation. As part of this work, Jason often helps people lose weight and keep it off, in part by helping them overcome the common challenges of yo-yo dieting and emotional eating. Jason helps people go from knowing what to do and having good intentions to consistently taking great care of themselves in ways that help them add years to their lives and life to their years.