Have You Had the Talk Yet?

Every person on a journey of learning to take great care of themself eventually comes to an important crossroads. They come to a point at which they have a very important talk with themself.

The talk is a conversation between a part of themself who seeks quick fixes and a part of themself who knows in every fiber of their being they need to embrace self-care as a lifestyle. It usually goes something like this:

Quick-Fix Self: I’m so tired of being sick and tired and fat and out of shape. I feel terrible.

Lifestyle Self: (with compassion) I hear you, my friend.

Quick-Fix Self: Dana at work is going to do the Instagram Slim-Magic Power-500 Detox-Mega-Cleanse Challenge. I think I’m going to do it with them.

Lifestyle Self: Didn’t you do that back in January?

Quick-Fix Self: No. That was the Instagram Slim-Magic Power-500 Cleanse-Mega-Detox Challenge. That was junk! But everyone I know is losing weight on this one. It’s the real deal.

Lifestyle Self: Wait a minute. You realize all they did was flip-flop the words “detox” and “cleanse”, right?

Quick-Fix Self: It’s more than that. This one is different. It’s backed by science. The guy who created it wears a white coat. I think this is going to be the one that helps me finally lose weight and feel great.

Lifestyle Self: You know I love you, Quicky. That’s why I need to tell you this seems like a carbon copy of all the quick fixes you’ve tried before. They’re all the same. They suck people in with exaggerated claims, even completely false claims, and they don’t offer anything of actual substance.

Quick-Fix Self: (sigh) Honestly, I think you’re right. But I don’t know what else to do.

Lifestyle Self: I might be able to help. Are you up for an idea?

Quick-Fix Self: Sure. Yeah. Go for it.

Lifestyle Self: Instead of spending money on another weird diet, how about tomorrow you simply drink water throughout the day and start forming a self-care habit you’ll have for the rest of your life?

Quick-Fix Self: Drinking water isn’t very hard. And I always feel better when I do it.

Lifestyle Self: Neat.

Quick-Fix Self: But it doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like I need to do something more serious, you know, more extreme.

Lifestyle Self: Well, it’s true. It’s not enough in the sense that there’s more to do to lose weight. Think of this as the first step. And remember, when you do those extreme things, you do them for a few weeks, then you quit. They’re not sustainable.

Quick-Fix Self: (sigh) It’s true. And it’s exhausting to keep failing. I feel like such a failure.

Lifestyle Self: (putting their hand on Quick-Fix Self’s back) You know you’re not a failure, Quicky. You’re an awesome person. And you succeed at everything of actual substance you apply yourself to. Quick fixes don’t work for anyone. It’s not just you. They’re destined to fail. They’re designed to fail. That’s one way they keep selling to the same people over and over again.

Quick-Fix Self: (relaxing a little) I know you’re right. Thank you for being so supportive. And so patient.

Lifestyle Self: (smiling widely) Of course.

Quick-Fix Self: Yeah, like we’ve talked about before, I know what I need to do. I need to form self-care habits that’ll serve me well for the rest of my life. And the weight will come off in good time. And stay off.

Lifestyle Self: What’s something else you could start working on?

Quick-Fix Self: I could get back to swimming. You know I love swimming.

Lifestyle Self: Neat.

Quick-Fix Self: I’ll start small. I’ll do two short swims this week. Then, I’ll go from there.

Lifestyle Self: Neat.

Quick-Fix Self: (smiling) I’m excited. I’m going to do it right this time. I’ll work on a few things this week, and I’ll gradually do more over time. That way it’ll be sustainable.

Lifestyle Self: That’s the spirit.

About Jason Gootman
Jason Gootman is a Mayo Clinic Certified Wellness Coach and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach as well as a certified nutritionist and certified exercise physiologist. Jason helps people reverse and prevent type-2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and other ailments with evidence-based approaches to nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, holistic wellness, and, most importantly, lasting behavior improvement and positive habit formation. As part of this work, Jason often helps people lose weight and keep it off, in part by helping them overcome the common challenges of yo-yo dieting and emotional eating. Jason helps people go from knowing what to do and having good intentions to consistently taking great care of themselves in ways that help them add years to their lives and life to their years.