Bridging the Sex Longevity Gap

There’s an aspect of sexual inequality almost no one talks about:

Men die a lot younger than women.

The current life expectancy for women in the United States is 81.10 years. For men, it’s 75.80 years.

On average, women get 5.30 more years of life than men.

Similar data is available for most other countries.

Men don’t die earlier than women because of an innate biological difference. Until about 100 years ago, men and women lived equally long lives.

A scientific study with results published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America reveals the truth behind the sex longevity gap:

“Using historical data from 1,763 birth cohorts from 1800 to 1935 in 13 developed countries, we show that what is now seen as normal—a large excess of female life expectancy in adulthood—is a demographic phenomenon that emerged among people born in the late 1800s. We show that excess adult male mortality is clearly rooted in specific age groups, 50-70, and that the sex asymmetry emerged in cohorts born after 1880 when male:female mortality ratios increased by as much as 50% from a baseline of about 1.1. Heart disease is the main condition associated with increased excess male mortality for those born after 1900. We further show that smoking-attributable deaths account for about 30% of excess male mortality at ages 50-70 for cohorts born in 1900-1935. However, after accounting for smoking, substantial excess male mortality at ages 50-70 remained, particularly from cardiovascular disease. The greater male vulnerability to cardiovascular conditions emerged with the reduction in infectious mortality and changes in health-related behaviors.”

For emphasis: “health-related behaviors”.

“Female life expectancy now exceeds that of males in all countries. Although this gender difference has become accepted as normal, it is a relatively recent demographic phenomenon that emerged with the reduction of infections and the increase in the share of adult mortality attributed to cancer and cardiovascular disease. Heart disease is the main condition associated with increased excess male mortality, making the strongest contributions in birth cohorts of 1900-1935. Smoking behavior accounts for about 30% of male excess mortality at ages 50-70 for those born in 1900-1935. The remaining excess male mortality may be explained by underlying traits of vulnerability to cardiovascular disease that emerged with the reduction of infections and changes in diet and other lifestyle factors.”

For emphasis: “diet and other lifestyle factors”.

This isn’t about an innate biological difference.

It’s “health-related behaviors” and “diet and other lifestyle factors” driving this “relatively new demographic phenomenon”. (1)

Women who have heart attacks have them, on average, seven years later than men. One in two men will get cancer in their lifetime, while only one in three women will.

Because, on average, men live deadlier lives.

I’d like to bridge the sex longevity gap.

If you’re with me, and if there’s a man in your life who could use help taking better care of himself, there are two powerful things you can do for him—both big acts of love—that could help him add years to his life and life to his years:

1. Ask him about himself.
2. Ask him to do wellness-boosting stuff with you.

Ask Him About Himself

When you ask a man about himself, and you truly want to know about him, you create a very powerful experience for him. The key is to ask him how he’s doing with complete curiosity. No expectation. Let him surprise you with his answers. Ask him about both his inner and outer worlds. Then, listen. Listen with your heart. Listen with your whole being. Let him be who he is. Fully.

This is an incredible gift to give a man. It makes him feel valued for more than what he achieves. What he achieves is probably very important, but if it’s the only thing he feels valued for, he’s likely to focus his life merely on achieving. This means he’s less likely to focus on taking great care of himself.

Giving a man in your life the gift of being truly seen, heard, understood, witnessed, known, and accepted goes a long way toward helping him be the kind of man who takes great care of himself.

Ask Him to Do Wellness-Boosting Stuff with You

Let’s call a spade a spade: Nagging a man to take better care of himself feels terrible—and never works.

If there’s a man in your life who’d benefit from eating better, exercising more, or otherwise taking better care of himself, nagging is the anti-answer to the question of how to help him. It never works, and it hurts your relationship.

Drop the nagging, and ask him to do wellness-boosting stuff with you. Simply ask him to tag along with you for some of your self-care activities.

“Hey Dad. Do you want to go to the farmers’ market with me?”

“Hey Mike. I’m going to hike Mount Monadnock on Sunday. Would you like to join me?”

“Hey guys. I’m going to grill some vegetables and swordfish tomorrow. You should stop by.”

“Hey Honey. Do you want to go for a walk after work?”

When you ask a man to do wellness-boosting stuff with you, you’re asking him to spend time with you, an incredible gift in and of itself. And when he joins you, some of your self-care skills will likely rub off on him. He might also discover some new ways of taking care of himself that he enjoys and that he wouldn’t have thought of on his own. From these experiences, he’s likely to start taking better care of himself. I see this happen all the time.

We’re not going to bridge the sex longevity gap overnight. But if more and more of us lovingly listen to men and lovingly expose them to self-care activities, they’ll gradually take better care of themselves, and the sex longevity gap will eventually fade away.

(1) Twentieth Century Surge of Excess Adult Male Mortality. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 2015, 10.1073/pnas.1421942112.

About Jason Gootman
Jason Gootman is a Mayo Clinic Certified Wellness Coach and National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach as well as a certified nutritionist and certified exercise physiologist. Jason helps people reverse and prevent type-2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and other ailments with evidence-based approaches to nutrition, exercise, stress reduction, holistic wellness, and, most importantly, lasting behavior improvement and positive habit formation. As part of this work, Jason often helps people lose weight and keep it off, in part by helping them overcome the common challenges of yo-yo dieting and emotional eating. Jason helps people go from knowing what to do and having good intentions to consistently taking great care of themselves in ways that help them add years to their lives and life to their years.